Love Sick

I received a call from a dear friend who is struggling with the ending of a relationship. She is having trouble concentrating, difficulty breathing and doesn't want to eat. She's weak and her head is in a dizzying spin. She's "Love Sick" to put it mildly.

She's the one who ended this up and down roller coaster ride of a relationship lasting nearly two years. It's been full of pain, drama and heartbreak. She's doing her best to move on and she's staggering. Why then is she having such a hard time? One would think she'd be relieved and feel some freedom that at last it's over. She has tried and tried over and over and has given it all she's got.

These are the symptoms some would call "Love Sick." Today, I think it's the pain of withdrawal. Withdrawal from the hopes and dreams of happily ever after. She gave and gave and kept no reserve for herself. Now she has nothing left to start over with. It's all over there where he is. Oh, she has all of her material possessions. I'm speaking of her gumption, her fortitude and her sense of self. She's emotionally KO'd and her self esteem is gone.

My hope is that she does not go back for yet another round and my heart goes out to her. There have been multiple re-trys. My Rx for her would be to spend some time with friends and get to know herself again. Learn to say "No". Get some counseling and heal from the exhaustion. HOLD YOUR SPACE. I'd like her to begin to care for herself as if she has just come home from the Emergency Room, a life of heartache saved. I wonder what would she might tell her best friend to do?

We all have to find our way out of the pain of giving ourselves away. There is a balance we each must discover. I stop here and you start there. The process is like going to the dentist, no one can do it for you. We each have to sit in the chair and deal with the pain and fear of an extraction alone. It's just nice to have a friend sitting in the waiting room to help and drive you home.