The Wisdom of Restraint

The Wisdom of Restraint is another way to Hold Your Space.
Someone punches your button. You really want to jump in and throw down the gauntlet. You want to say something you know you shouldn't, and you don't, that is exercising your Wisdom of Restraint. It is easier said than done.
The subject can be the full range of many topics. The obvious and most controversial being politics and religion. For me, it happens more often with my family where I am "on auto" as the minority opinion. I have been in similar social situations and it's been much easier for me to remain close mouthed. Either way, I've learned for me, it's best not to take the bait.
I've had tempting situations also occur at work, when discussion of a coworker is the topic of the day. You'd love to open your mouth and give an opinion, but that could come back to bite you later. The Wisdom of Restraint. It has been empowering for me to learn just to listen and take note. Simply because I have an opinion doesn't mean it is to be spoken.
Even more difficult, the challenge may come from a dear friend who's (you think) with a man she probably shouldn't be. You want to head her off at the pass with what could be emotional suicide. Exercise Restraint. If she asks and really wants your opinion, then proceed with caution. You are standing on shaky ground, especially if she marries him.
Exercising Restraint may be the most trying of all when arguing with a husband/wife/lover. Words spoken are forever out there, unable to be taken back, erased or deleted. I know I have been cutting with my words coming from my own place of hurt and anger. Ask yourself, is this what I really mean? Is this what I want? Restraint is your ultimate friend. I've learned to first breathe, get clear, then speak my truth.
I should have learned this lesson long ago when arguing with my father. I could have saved myself from being grounded countless times on a Friday or Saturday date night. When talking about our teenage years my sister recently told me, "We often wondered why you didn't just shut up." I probably should have. They took the lesson to heart. I don't think my sisters were ever grounded.
After I told my first husband corundum was above diamond on Moh's scale of hardness, that became my nickname. I have learned the hard way. When I'm reacting because my button is pushed is so different than when I am choosing to respond. Hold Your Space.
Exercising the Wisdom of Restraint is a lesson well learned.