Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Don't Waste the Pretty

Ever been in a relationship or known a friend who hung onto a relationship that was never ever going to work? Even though the breakup was long overdue she stayed and stayed until her self esteem was flat as a pancake? It's harder to pick yourself up after you feel you've been run over by an emotional steamroller. It just gets worse and worse. We sell ourselves short by hanging on til the bitter end. I say Don't waste the Pretty, Hold your Space, cut your losses and move on. When the relationship starts to wane, for whatever reason, both parties know it. Well, I should add, at least the female in the relationship probably does.
Some men just don't want to commit for the long term and some don't want to commit at all. Commitophobes. They don't want to be the bad guy and break it off either. They want you to end it. They pull back. Herein lies the waning. Most men like having the benefits of a relationship including many things besides the sex. It's comfortable and safe. They have someone to cook dinner with, take to dinner parties, hang out with friends and maybe even do their laundry. It's great to have someone they trust to bounce ideas off of. They have a partner who cares for them. It's like all the benefits of playing house with no investment. It holds no negative for them, just all the good stuff. This is great until, after a year or so of dating, possible vacation getaways and sleepovers then it's time to fish or cut bait. At least from the woman's perspective. Then the trouble starts. He backs off, it's not fun for him anymore. The proverbial party is over. Time to face the music, it's the wedding music I mean.
If you begin to see multiple signs of hesitation around getting married, and that's really what you want, Don't Waste the Pretty, girlfriend. Hold Your Space, and move on with your head held high. As my Mom would say "Don't put all of your eggs in one basket." Get out while the gettin' is good, there are other fish in the sea. It's his loss or could be yours if you waste anymore of the pretty!