Growing pains

It's hard to take a look at ourselves and see what were doing that isn't working. At least it is for me. I have lots of things that cloud the clarity of my vision. Ego maybe? I don't want to see my own flaws and shortcomings. I like to be right. (I'm in my comfort zone there.) It's always easier to see those things in someone else, and what they need to do.
So it often hurts to grow, when the clouds break and the light shines in the dark corners and there's the ugly truth. I'm wrong. Growing pains. Get over myself and move on. Dish me up another slice of humble pie. The more I get used to it the better person I'll be.

Lying Married Men: Wormeos

The Worms! the Cads!  They are Wormeos!

Nothing is more distasteful to me than a man (or a woman) who will cheat and run around on his wife (or her husband)

I have now joined the ranks of women who have been out with a married man, unbeknownst to me.
I have been out to dinner multiple times and even kissed him goodnight. When my friends asked me about him, I said " I'm just not sure about him." He seemed honest. Although I did feel the need to google him The first time I went out with him. Just  for confirmation. Everything he said checked out. Nowhere did I read he was a married man. He told me he had been married and divorced a long time ago. I believed him. He said he had been in serious relationships over the years and had lived with a woman. Seemed reasonable. For some reason I had some kind of doubt about him. I told a friend there was a missing puzzle piece and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. 

An acquaintence through work had set me up with him. He was new to town and didn't know many
people. He called me right away to meet me, and we went soon after.
 
I was online this morning and saw a link to speech he had given last summer when he was inducted into the football hall of fame. I was curious to see what he had said and what kind of a speaker he was. At the end of his speech he thanked his wife for putting up with him "for all these years" ! Imagine my surprise! I was stunned and angry! If I had been really into him I 'm sure I'd be hurt, the Jerk! Live and learn. I'm learning more and more about trusting the part of me that knows when something is off. I suspected he might be dating other women or even have a girlfriend, but not a wife!( in another state) That never even crossed my mind.

He texted me about our upcoming date and wanted to see me Monday night. Said he couldn't wait..I texted back...
"So has your wife been putting up with you seeing other women all this time? I'm just not into small men. No"

I have heard not a word nor a letter text'd. Goodbye and Good riddance!
He's a good liar. I'm sure they all are! How sad, and I thought he was a decent man.  His poor wife! A good liar is not a good trait to have!

Wedding in Philly

I Went to a Family wedding in Philly this last weekend and I don't like to fly.
My Dad, sis, bro and I flew together on a very scary flight. After the door to the plane was closed and we all were belted in, sitting on the Tarmac, the flight attendent takes the mike. She says "I don't know if you've heard the news.... Pregnant pause...( what ??? We all wondered?) she continued with, "the weather on the east coast is abominable! The pilot has two alternate airports where we can land if we don't make it". " In all of my years of flying I've never had a flight attendent say anything clsoe to what she said. I was mortified!

I'm thinking, "Can I get off this plane?" (inner silent scream)
The flight was three hours and the first two were ok except for the fear of what was to come. Ugh! Glad I asked my doc for xanax since I'm always on the verge of a panic attack with flying anyway.
We bounced around, starting about two plus hours into the flight. Then we were in the clouds, with no visibility. I had my eyes closed and was doing my best to center myself and not come unraveled, Hold Your Space. Do what you preach. I asked my brother to please stop talking to me. I know he was trying to help by distracting me. I just wanted to  freak out alone and try to manage my overwhelming fear ... Chill and hold my space

Anyway, the plane blew side to side, wings up and down. The plane would drop, leaving that weightless feeling in my stomach, which I hate. As we were bouncing in for the final approach, my sister and brother each linked arms with me for the landing simultaneously. My eyes were closed, so I don't know if they planned it or were just as afraid as I was. We made it. My brother said the right wing nearly hit the runway, and my sister said she saw white water directly below us ( the Delaware river we learned later) I have almost never been as relieved to land! (only a Hawaiian islands flight was worse)  Whew! what a wild ride. I wanted to hug the pilot and kiss the ground. I thanked him for getting us there. ( alive ) my Dad ( the flight instructor ) was critiquing and complimenting the pilots landing and telling him what a good job he did with his approach.
As we were renting the car, I learned it was hurricane Nicole ending her reign of terror! It was her last hurrah up the coast! I had no idea and I'd been checking the weather every day on my iphone. I thought I was in the know!  If  I'd known about the hurricane, I would have opted out and missed a great time at the wedding.
The wedding was beautiful and we had a fab time. The stress of the flight was worth it since we made it and lived to tell about it.