One Year Today

My Mom died one year ago today. In some ways it seems like last week. In other ways it seems like an eternity since I've heard her voice or been able to hug her. I miss her so much and life just isn't the same without her here. I talk to her every day and I know she's with me. I just miss her so much I hurt.

I realize there is no love like the love I felt from my Mother. Others can love us, our friends, family, lovers and husbands. The love of a parent for a child is different, it's unconditional. Mom wasn't going anywhere. She listened to me and accepted me right or wrong. She was there for me and helped me ground whenever I needed her. She was a major stabilizing force in my life.

Tonight I went to mass with my Dad, two sisters and brother. Mom would be proud of us. I don't go to church very often, nor does my brother.  After mass, we visited the church garden where Moms ashes are interred. We saw the newly engraved granite name plate with her name and dates of birth and death. We each cried. It was an emotional time for all of us. Dad showed us the tree he had planted in the garden for Mom. She would like it, Mom loved trees. The tree will have pink blossoms, one of her favorite colors. We later went to dinner at Moms' favorite restaurant and I'm sure she was there with us. She was a special lady and lives on inside each one of us. We all learned so much from her wisdom and grace. I'm grateful to have known her and to have had her with me as long as I did.

I Hold My Space in the place of Healing and Letting go.