Trial By Fire

He had money, family connections and law firms to insulate him. Money and privilege can provide a life above the law if you are so inclined. Good attorneys can spin whatever story you want if you can afford to pay for it. The jury ruled 11 to 1 that he did not intend to hurt me. After all, the attorneys said he was a "special needs" person. He had health problems, gout in his ankle. At least I was free. One juror approached me after the trial. I am so thankful she did. One person believed me out of the 12. She saw through the lies. It didn't matter much, I had made it through and I was free. A crash course in Learning to HOLD MY SPACE.
He had found me through the post office. He told them we hadn't been getting our mail and asked them what address they had on record. They gave him my address. It was a very frightful time. I remember my heart pounding through my chest as I would make my plan to get away. I was afraid he would kill me, and he could have. He told me over and over again how much he loved me. He was used to getting his way with all of his money. He stalked me, ran me off the road, and kept me against my will. He weighed over 300 lbs and had played football in college. I learned after I married him, he had a meth addiction. My daughter told me I was like princess Leia with Jabba the Hut. A friend said I needed an elephant gun to stop him. I was living life on the ropes and on the run.
He broke down my door at 3:00 am taking away the simple comfort of ever sleeping soundly again. They had his picture on the wall of the security office where I was later employed. It was a nightmare, I couldn't believe this had become my life. I thought there was no way out.
The off duty police who provided security for his wealthy mother and her home, (among other things, she owned a million dollar diamond ring) were the same force I later called when he assaulted me in my condo. That scared me too. Would they help me? The police investigator told me, "Lady you need to move to a place with 24 hour security and cameras." He said, "...this guy can get in where most people can't." I had just moved. Not long after, I left for Canada for several months, then I hid out at my parents home. I found a place with tight 24 hour security and cameras. My daughter said it was like coming to a "lock up" to visit. She added "...you live like you are in prison." I could finally sleep.
I lost friends who were afraid for their own safety. They didn't want me to wind up like Nicole. I isolated. I didn't want harm to come to anyone who might be with me. He threatened I would never see one of my friends again, and yet she stood by me and testified at the trial.
I can write about this now with little fear. He is dead and can't hurt me again. I never prayed that any harm would come to him. I prayed that I could be free to live a life away from him and my prayers were answered.