You Don't Own Me

Ever felt like a possession? Not a good feeling. It's been my experience that the same guy who wants to control where you go and who you spend your time with, will also use abandonment to control you.

Has it become a problem when you want to spend time going out with your girlfriends? For me, that was a problem as well as doing something that included people besides just the two of us. He wasn't in control and I think he was threatened. If I went out without him, then he was not "available" later, when I might want to touch base with him. It felt like a punishing tactic he used. I learned it worked. I wasn't following his plan. He wasn't flexible. It became too much of a hassle for me to keep carving out time away from him. I learned something always happened when I made plans. I wasn't doing what he wanted me to.

If you are experiencing any of this, HOLD YOUR SPACE and pay attention to what you are feeling. Are you afraid you'll lose him or there will be consequences if you have a life separate from him and make your own choices? That's a problem and if you can't work it out, he's not worth it. Don't allow your world to become so small you lose your perspective like I did and can't see the forest for the trees.

Time Changes Everything

Time Changes Everything. Like when we get up tomorrow. Spring Forward. What I'm saying is, it changes many things. I still love chocolate and shoes. There's a purse or skirt or chair I had to have that isn't so great anymore. It's true with men, too. My taste is different. My experience over time is what changed me. I make better choices. I learned a lot and I grew up.

Time does change ones' perspective. (I have more low lights now) What was important to me, not so much anymore. My time is spent much more wisely. Priorities. I know Time is precious. I have a smaller circle of a few dear friends. I've grown to be my own person. I know myself and speak my mind with less filter or I keep my mouth shut. I Love my freedom and friends and family. (and the beach) Time has not changed that.

He Looks Good On Paper

Ever been with someone who has all the traits you are looking for but it's not working? He's handsome, successful, you have some chemistry and similar values. Your parents would love him. He looks good on paper (check check check) but somethings missing?

It's hard to end a relationship like this. Sometimes he's really into you and it flatters your ego. You love the compliments and good company. You tend to ask yourself what's wrong with me? Why do I want to end this and send this great person on his way? Well, integrity for one. You don't want to waste your time or his by leading him on. If you can't shift him into the good friend role, it's better to be alone than hang on hoping something will shift in you.

He doesn't match up with your insides and it's OK. There's a missing link between the two of you. HOLD YOUR SPACE Spend some time getting to know yourself better, then you'll have more clarity on who's the right person for you.