Relationship Pain

Being in a relationship can hurt. I mean really, really hurt and the pain is like a giant cramp inside your body. You feel like you're going to die, and you want to. I'm sure it seems like you don't know how, but it helps to ground yourself and get back to center. It's usually about overwhelming  feelings. I felt abandoned and those abandonment issues go back to our early attachment issues and bonding.. But that's therapy talk. You have you, no matter what happens. Remember that. It may not seem like much when you're all wrapped around the axle about him/her and what he's doing and thinking. It's as if your life depends on him/her and it's so not true! Detach and Get a grip! (SEE: Survival Tools: The Breakup)
Put your energy into something you can change. YOU. Start by filling up your deflated self esteem. It's like a pancake right now and you're suffering.  Focus! Pray for help.
I remember being in so much pain and wanting to read something that could help me find my way out of feeling so obsessed and crazy. I didn't know how I had gotten myself in such bad shape or why. Today I know it was because I thought love was giving yourself away. I know better today. It's a long road back to center but once you get there you'll never loose that stillpoint again. My words are... "This is a big life lesson for you. No one can ever love you unless you learn to love yourself first."  No one else can do it for you, it's like going to the dentist. You must sit in that chair alone for the extraction, if that's what it comes to. The festering pain is gone and the healing begins. The sooner you start on your way back to you, the better. It must be done and it takes time. Heed the voice of experience: Don't jump back in again until you've done some work on you. The pain won't kill you and you need some Traction. Your pain will lessen when you begin to take your power back and get your feet under you.  holdyourspace There's no way out of this mess but through. Trust the process. I know that sounds trite when you want throw a screaming fit, but it's true. No man/woman can love you enough to make you OK. That's a fact! .. 'cause he/she can always take it away. Love yourself, it's lasting. and you're stuck with you, count on it.